Almost Human

I'm extremely happy to report that I am feeling almost human again.  As of about week 12, I have been able to both look at, eat, and enjoy food again without triggering my gag reflex, Hooray!  For any of you who know me, you know I LOVE food and not being able to enjoy it has been fairly trying. I went in for my 17 week appointment today (I know, I'm not on the normal 16, 20, 24 week schedule. Leave it to me to screw that one up early on) and can honestly say that I live for those 4 week check ups.  Kel met me at the doctors office (he was so upset when he missed the last one that he vowed that never again would I get to hear that precious little heart beat without him) and in those few moment in the waiting room I realized how anxious I had been feeling about this appointment.  I had been anxious at my 9 week and my 13 week appointments because of all the worries that surround the first trimester, but for some reason I felt more anxiety today.  I think part of my anxiety was due to the fact that two women I work with (one very recently) lost their babies after the 12 week mark and because I'm not yet able to perceive the movements of by sweet baby I have felt this nagging fear that something could be wrong and I wouldn't even know. 

My doctor is great, totally laid back and calm- exactly the type of person I need to temper my anxious personality.  Because his wife also works for me, we often joke about the going ons in our lives and he openly shares their personal experiences which almost always lightens the mood.  When he began looking for the heart beat I felt my anxiety peak, it took several minutes of listening to the thump of my own heart before we found our little one nestled down lower than usual (it seems pretty content to hang out lower rather than up where you would expect).  I felt a flood of emotion and relief as the rapid fluttering of a little  heart filled the room and as if on cue, a broad smile of excitement overtook Kel's face (he loves our little gummy bear so much!)  Everything looked good and things seem to be going as planned at this point and that is all we could ask or pray for at this moment.  The only issue it that I have likely contacted a UTI which is not fun and may lead to some antibiotic treatment (I don't like the thought of taking anything, but will always do what will be best for all of us in the long run).  The exciting news is that we got to schedule the ultrasound that will hopefully tell us what this little bear will be! I can't wait for that day- I hate having to call our precious baby an "it." ssshhh. . don't tell, but I secretly often refer to it as a "he" not that I think we are having a boy, but just because it seems to roll through my thoughts more smoothly than "it."  Only time will tell (I guess if we have a little girl I will have some apologizing to do ;) ).

It seems like a lot has happened since my last post.  I think we are taking the "live it up before you have kids" seriously because it seems like we have played more in the last few months than we have our entire marriage- I guess it doesn't matter when it happens, just that it does. 

We (mostly Kel) have been extremely busy over the last few months.  In addition to working his 8 to 5 job, Kel has also taken on several projects and side jobs.  He is working on finishing the living room and spare room in the basement and was offered a second part time job booting cars in the evenings and on the weekends.  He is one busy and tired boy but so willing to do anything he can to make our life better.  I'm so grateful and blessed to have such an amazing husband, I'm not sure what I did to deserve him but I'm pretty sure I have a large debt to repay somewhere.  My busy-ness is basically related to work, trying not so successfully to keep up with the house, and making another human being (it seems a lot harder in real life than they make it look in the movies- and it seems to make work and keeping up on the house even harder- not that I'm complaining, its worth every minute). 

Despite all the craziness in our lives Kel planned a big surprise weekend for October 22nd.  He had been secretly planning for weeks and for the first time since we have been married, actually kept it a secret until the day before.  He had purchased tickets to Jason Aldean in Salt Lake and had gotten us a hotel at the Crystal Inn by Temple Square for the night.  Jason Aldean, besides being one of my very favorite artists, has been a fairly significant  part of our relationship (I'll have to update that story one of these days) and we have been talking about trying to see him in concert if we could make it work.  Leave it to my sweet hubby to make it work.  We had a lot of fun and it was so good to just be together (we know those moments will soon be few and far between).  I did have my first major pregnancy break down that weekend- obviously due to my crazy worry and hormones and the fact that I had convinced myself that I had probably obliterated my poor little baby by attending such a loud concert (note to self: when I create a world of my own, make sure that Valium or atavan are safe during pregnancy).  Needless to say, everything is fine and I recovered.  We were also able to see some of our good friends and spend some much needed social time.

Another notable event was our 5th Annual Halloween Extravaganza- sadly this year extravaganza is probably too strong a word for what the party turned out to be but it was fun none the less.  We dressed as crazed psych patients (we can do that because we know and can appreciate the truth about mental illness- and after really knowing it, you still have to be able to laugh about it or else all you could do is cry- yet another story that will need telling eventually).  I chose this because at the time, scrubs seemed like a very comfortable choice and honestly comfort is near the top of my priority list these days.  Dan and Laurel came as the incredibles; Tommy, Katie, and Little Tommy came as rodeo clowns; Dusty and Caytlyn were dressed to the hilt from the 70's; Kari, Joe, Luke, Abby, and Derek were M & M's, Jill was a witch, Adam was a construction worker, and miss M was a cat.  We had our usual pumpkin carving, costume, and donut eating contests and it seemed to be a fun night.  I wish I had taken some pictures, but with me that is usually one of the last things I think about and with a little thing sucking my brain cells, it totally fell off my radar this year.  For as much work as those events are, it always leaves me feeling overwhelming gratitude for such amazing friends. We are truly blessed!

Last, but not least, Dusty and Caytlyn got married this last weekend and it was perfect in all the ways that really mattered.  I left Thursday night and met Mom, Heidi, Holli, Shannon, and Caytlyn at Cafe Rio in IF for a sisters dinner and spent Friday helping Mom bake, playing with tuff, going for a walk, shopping for something to wear to the wedding, and helping set up the church.  It decided to snow Friday night (of course) and was fiercely cold.  Kel had to work Thursday, and Friday night into Saturday morning and thanks to the snow, after only 2 hours of sleep, he had to shovel sidewalks before he could even leave Logan.  He called in a partial coma/ panic at 8:30am and said her hadn't even left yet (the ceremony was supposed to start at 11am). He decided to brave the roads and his own fatigue and headed out much to the worry of his poor pregnant wife.  Everything was beautiful and the turn out was amazing.  Kel showed up just in time (Dusty and Caytlyn pushed things back a few minutes so that he could be there).  Dusty seemed to happy and I couldn't have asked for a better sister in law and for a better family for my little brother.  After the ceremony we did a luncheon which was super yummy. Kel headed back because he had another shift that night and the rest of us began decorating the gym.  It was creative and beautiful and fit the couple perfectly. They had cut out silver stars and attached them to helium balloons to float in rafters but throughout the evening they began to come down because they were to heavy. I spent most of my evening cutting stars down  to make them smaller so that they would stay on the ceiling.  It was well worth the effort because the atmosphere was stunning.  It was a great weekend.  I came home Sunday night and it was back to work for our semi annual Family Week this week.  I'll be glad for the weekend.

All in all, I can't believe how blessed we are.  Heavenly Father's hand has been so evident in our lives and we will have to keep working hard to even hope to be worthy of those blessings!