It seems like our life is on cruise control at an incomprehendable speed and all I can do is sit back, wide eyed, completely unable to react, only able to see the scenery rushing by. I admit that, for the most part, all that scenery has been beautiful and a rich blessing, it just passes so fast! In the last week, we finished the drywall in the basement and put up our one Christmas decoration for the year- our tree (I'm a little bah humbug this year-not that I'm unhappy about Christmas- just that I don't have the energy to put a ton of effort into decorating and then undecorating- my brain power and time just seem to be all used up).
I think I'm starting to slowly enter the third pregnancy phase (the one that comes after feeling almost normal) as fatigue seems to be settling back in, my body no longer holds any resemblence of it's former shape, and my emotional stability (if I ever had any) seems to be deteriorating. To add to my ever changing life, work has been pretty rough this week in several aspects including an outbreak of a contagious parasite that pregnant women can't be treated for- LOVELY. Let's just say the tears have flown freely this week.
My saving grace has been my sweet husband. I honestly feel overwhelmingly blessed everyday to think that somehow I ended up with this amazing man. He has held my hand and dried my tears and supported me in even my craziest pregnant moments. I know that he has been worried about me this week (who wouldn't worry if their wife cried nearly everytime she spoke- only I think most other men would consider putting thier wife up in the local psych hospital rather than facing the emotion head on), and as usual my amazing husband pulled out all of the stops. He had been telling me that he had my "Christmas present" hidden in the basement for the last few weeks and gave me strict instruction not to go digging through things down there.
Kel is one of those people who gets so excited about giving gifts that he can't bare the secret or the wait and asked me several times this week if I wanted my gift early, hehe. Well, I guess yesterday he just needed to see me smile and giving me my gift early was his last ditch effort. I went out to take tuff on his evening walk and when I came back in tears filled my eyes. For several seconds I just stood staring at the tree in disbelief. Kel had that signature smile spread across his face and I think I made him nervous when my first reaction was, of course, to cry. Leaning against the tree was a beautiful road bike- something that I never in a million years thought that I could own. For a moment I paniced knowing what something like this would have cost, but also knowing that my husband would never spend that much money. The panic was followed by confusion because of the confilct in my last two thoughts. I whispered "how much did it cost?" Kel kept smiling and asked if I liked it. As tears sprung from my eyes I whispered again "how much did this cost?" He respornded with "don't worry about it" and then knowing that I wouldn't accept that as an answer proceded to explain how he had been looking at this bike for several months, how he had research and shopped and talked to my sister about it, and how he had bribed the store clerk a few weeks ago to lie to me about pricing when he took me in to the bike shop "just to see what they had." He told me how he had been in several times, bargained with the sales person and had gotten an unbeatable price. He told me how he just wanted me to be happy and knew that I would never ask for it or expect it. I cried as I listened to the selfless unconditional love in his explaination. I felt overwhelmed, guilty, and unable to accept it or even at that moment beleive it. Kel ended his explanation with ". . . and all sales are final so you can't take it back." The truth is I LOVE it, but what I love more is that I have someone who loves me that much- I don't feel like I deserve him and I feel so blessed that he chose me. I can't wait for spring! I am the luckiest girl in the world- not because of the material things I have but because of the people I am surrounded by. I'm never quite sure why they love me, but I'm so blessed that they do!
We are heading up to Washington after work Thursday night for Christmas and mom and dad should be back from Hawaii to pick Tuff up (too bad I don't have thier Christmas ready.) Christmas- ready or not, here we come!
Another positive even this week has been fun having my little dog back while grandma and grandpa play in Hawaii. They dropped him off on Thursday night last week and he has been so sweet despite several "bad dog mom" moments. I'm trying to take advatage of how forgiving and loving my puppy can be, no matter what I do (or forget to do), he always loves me. . . no matter what. He snuggles his sweet little face into my legs or puts a paw on my lap even if I didn't have time to play with him for more than a few moments that morning and he's always jumping up and down with excitement anytime he sees me. I'm pretty sure my little boy will not always respond to me that same way- which is okay, but for now I'm soaking in the unconditional love of my little dog.
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